Christmas In Jail

Here's the second part of our unit on prison Christmas songs. I've put a lot of these songs into my annual Christmas mix CDs -- see here and here. (And, of course, John Prine would've made it onto the Country mix if I hadn't had far too much to fit onto one CD.)

Most of these songs deal predominantly with the idea of spending the magical day behind bars, but one or two just mention it as a springboard for other lonely sad Christmas ideas. Almost all the songs are first-person prison narratives, with the exception of two songs about the fat man getting locked up (including a live version of a song from last year's elf mix). Oh, and then there's the exquisite instrumental "Jailhouse Angels" which gives "Angels We Have Heard On High" and "Jailhouse Rock" the Ventures-style Christmas medley treatment. Tonewise, the songs in this collection are all over the map, from the straight-up comedy of the opener to Kansas City Kitty's marvelously depressing blues song about having a lover locked up during the special season.

Have you noticed that it's already the 22nd and I haven't even mentioned this year's Christmas CD compilations? Well, I'm not sure they're going to be done this year -- like I mentioned, I've got a wedding to plan and I still haven't finished putting away all the decorations from September's pirate party. If they're done, I'll put 'em up. If not, I'll still try to post SOMETHING between now and the 25th.

As always, I recommend the zipfile -- that way, your files will already be numbered in the preferred order in your neat little desktop folder, and your MP3 player can play them that way if you choose. (On the other hand, if you have all the previous comps, then there are five songs you'd be double-dipping on. Your call, really.)

Zipfile

01 - Ron Holden - Who Says There Ain't No Santa Claus 1 2
02 - The Youngsters - Christmas In Jail 1 2
03 - Danny Barnes - I'm All Alone On Christmas 1 2
04 - All New Genetically Altered Jug Band - Christmas In Jail 1 2
05 - Adam Kempa - Jailhouse Angels 1 2
06 - Dash Kizer - Christmas In Jail 1 2
07 - Dean - Jail For Christmas 1 2
08 - Drive-By Truckers - Mrs. Claus' Kimono 1 2
09 - Sherwin Linton - Santa Got A DWI 1 2
10 - Kansas City Kitty - Christmas Morning Blues 1 2
11 - Leroy Carr - Christmas In Jail, Ain't That A Pain 1 2
12 - Paul Kelly - How To Make Gravy 1 2
13 - Seasick Steve and The Level Devils - Xmas Prison Blues 1 2

Elven Songs-A-Singing

Wow. I didn't realize I had this many songs about elves on my hard drive. I'd figured this'd be five or six songs, maximum, but here it is -- 48 minutes of elvish material.

The first five songs are about how elves help out Santa: two of them slip down the chimneys themselves to unlock the front door. In these songs, you'll hear a Thurl soundalike (track one), the story of how one elf is so tiny he takes naps in Santa's beard (only a leetle weird), and even how fat old Santa ended up bareass one Christmas night. Tennessee Ernie's brownie has a Big-Brother eye in the sky, just like in the Mexican holiday anti-classic film Santa Claus (released the year before this song, for the record).

Track six is an instrumental palate cleanser, and then we're into three songs about the elves' labor complaints. Some elves unionize, some get laid off, and some just bitch and keep on working.

Then we have a collection of miscellaneous dark/adult elf songs, concluding with another Waitsian ditty, as Georgia's own Drive-By Truckers sing the story of "Mrs. Claus' Kimono." Finally, our hidden mystery track (set 30 years ago today) takes up again the cause of unionization and very presciently deals with global warming at the same time.

This collection is surely not complete, so if you have any other songs about elves, please let me know in the comments. I'd love to put together a part two!

Tracklist:

01. The Three Little Dwarfs - Hardrock, Coco, and Joe
02. Tennessee Ernie Ford - Jingle-O The Brownie
03. Keith Lester - Silver Spurs: A Christmas Song
04. Dan Marshall and Tommy's Chorus - Randi The Handi Elf
05. Sonny Bloch's Coralairs - Louie The Elf
06. Bill Brovold - The Ugly Elf
07. Ryan Allen - Elves On Strike
08. Barenaked Ladies - Elf's Lament
09. The Canadian Dollars - Outsourcin' Christmas
10. Neil Gaiman - Nicholas Was...
11. The Reverend Glen Armstrong - Death Of An Elf
12. The Drive-By Truckers - Mrs. Claus' Kimono

Zipfile